perfect timing
a dichotomy
Isn't "the right place at the right time" just a sad fact of life? The idea that you can have all the right stuff, but if you receive them at the wrong time, it just doesn't work.
Take, for example, a friend recommends you a book they KNOW you'll love. Curious, you do some googling and by all accounts this should be a fantastic read. It's a NYT's bestseller, so a lot of people seem to like it, it explores deep themes, has complex characters, and it's a fantasy novel--you love fantasy! But when you sit down to read it, for whatever reason, you're just not feeling it.
There's nothing wrong with the book and there's nothing wrong with you--you're just not ready to receive it. Maybe you're more into non-fiction at this stage of your life. Maybe you don't have the time given a recent new job or new responsibilities. Maybe you can't connect with the first 100-pages of the book, but you will a year from now after you go through that unexpected break-up. But, a year from now you'll also completely forget about the book, which is a bit sad and unfortunate.
Of course, we can't be everywhere all at once or have perfect memory recall, but "what could've been" has a tragic sense to it.
Like, let's examine you meeting your spouse/partner for the first time. If you think about it, it takes a lot of things lining up perfectly to meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. You both (typically) have to be single at the same time. She (hopefully) isn't in her bad-boy phase because you're more nerdy and introverted. You both (hopefully) moved to Manhattan at the same time. You both (hopefully) were late enough on your commute to enter that Starbucks at the same time. You (hopefully) listened to that Tony Robbins tape when you said you would, which gave you the courage to actually say something to her. Or you didn't. You weren't single enough, late enough, or brave enough, but you could've been if the timing was a little better.
I have to imagine God, with his all-watching eye, is constantly pulling his hair out in frustration. He must see people that are great for each other who also just seem to miss each other. For instance, I know my wife went to the same gym as me in when we both lived in Brooklyn--only I was there a year earlier. Same gym, different year. Goddammit.
Ok, so where's the other side to this dichotomy? As is typical Rahul fashion, I'm writing this post as form of self-therapy. To extend myself some grace.
The great thing about "perfect timing" as a fact of life is that you are justified, no required, to go easier on yourself. Try as you might, the fruits of your actions aren't totally up to you. You can have the right intentions, the right ideas, and the right amount of effort, but it wasn't going to work for reasons outside of your control.
That ghost kitchen you started in the early 2010s was a great business idea, but you were a decade too early. That girl you asked out would've gone out with you, but she met the love of her life 2 months earlier. That book your friend recommended was going to be your all-time favorite, but you weren't in the fiction-phase of your life1.
Life is messy and its mess sometimes has nothing to do with you. Make your attempts, try your best, but get some ice cream after.
Yours,
-Rahul
P.S. a reminder you can reply directly to oldmanrahul@substack.com, or you can tweet me @oldmanrahul about this edition. Thanks for reading and supporting my writing :)
I'm currently struggling to read any fiction, though I used to read 1000-page+ books 5 years ago.
Great read and can relate a lot of it. Love the tetris analogy photo.