the power of suspending judgement

Light Catcher (2012) by Hélène Béland

I’ve been in a positive mood lately. Not to tempt fate, but I’ve been more tranquil in temperament. With that, I’ve exhibited a new social behavior that I find hard to describe. I’m more “chill” in conversations. I’m not rushing to get to the point. I’m not jumping to conclusions. I’m taking my time. I’m taking the scenic route.

Unsatisfied with not having a pinpoint descriptor for this, I did what Rahul always does, I went searching for what this is. “Being curious” and “leading with curiosity,” are too broad. What am I tacitly doing?

Thanks to modern AI tools, it didn’t take me long to find epoché (ἐποχή). Epoché, originating from Greek skepticism, refers to a “suspension of judgment.” It means to defer our beliefs about the true nature of things, to neither deny or affirm anything, and remain in doubt.

Why would you want to do this? Well, the Greeks have an answer to this as well, namely ataraxia (ἀταραξία), or mental tranquility. The skeptics believed a suspension of judgement led to a calm mind¹. If you let go of needing certainty, the associated emotional turmoil melts away. Isn’t that interesting?

I’ll be the first to admit that forgoing judgement is hard, especially if you’re solutions-oriented like me. I’ve gathered so much knowledge and experience over the years that I often feel like I hold the missing puzzle piece to a person’s problems. “I completely understand what you’re going through. I think this is what you need to do,” I’ll think to myself. But I’ve also learned that my knowledge is fallible and that reality is full of nuance—my jigsaw piece is often for another puzzle.

So how would I tacitly recommend someone to do this epoché thing in their next discussion? Here are 3 steps:

1. Before responding, take a short pause.

2. Think about the judgement/assumption you are about to express.

3. Transform that statement into a question to verify if that assumption is correct.

Here’s an example scenario:

You're at a team meeting at work, and your colleague Pete is presenting a new project idea:

"We should completely overhaul our customer service system. Our current setup is outdated and inefficient. I propose we switch to an AI-powered chatbot system immediately. It'll cut costs and improve response times dramatically."

Your initial reaction is skepticism. You've heard mixed reviews about AI chatbots. Part of you wants to immediately argue against the idea.

• “AI chat bots are great for simple tasks, but they struggle with more complex queries.”

• “A complete switch to AI chatbots could lead to a large potential job loss for our Customer Experience teams.”

• “He’s underestimating how long a complete overhaul will take. His proposal won’t work given our timelines.”

Instead of firing back a counterpoint, you ask:

• "How have AI chatbots handled complex queries in other companies' experiences?"

• "How do you envision the role of our current Customer Experience team evolving with this new system?"

• "How could we break down this overhaul into smaller, manageable phases?"

You could even explore his initial stated assumptions:

• “Could you give more background on how our current setup is inefficient?”

• “What are our current response times?”

• “How much of a cost-savings are we looking at?”

This is an example of calm curiosity. You’re neither pushing for nor against the proposal, you’re simply exploring.

After sometime in the discussion, you may be able to suggest a path forward. And there’s a better chance of your suggestion being nuanced and palatable to your team because the conclusions became self-evident as the discussion unfolded. You focused on what you could conclude, not what you wanted to conclude, and your colleagues were witness to that.

It’s like being the new hire—you don’t know anything, so you ask a lot of questions to get up to speed. I think we need to do this as a default behavior, all the time.

Making this more meta, practicing suspended judgement is acknowledging that there’s a miraculousness in the mundane. You don’t cling to dogma, you’re fully absorbed in the current conversation. You’re not sprinting to a conclusion, you’re taking it slow, you’re hanging out.

This makes conversations fun. When we avoid the need for quick closure and certainty, conversations become less transactional and more special. Less convenient and more cherished. You’ll pick up on things you would’ve otherwise missed: body posture, inflections in tone, what their eyes are saying. The wellspring of the current moment will surprise you.

So give suspension of judgement (epoché) a try. See what it’s like to follow the river instead of swimming against it. It might just brighten your mood.

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Yours,

-Rahul

P.S. a reminder you can reply directly to oldmanrahul@substack.com, or you can tweet me @oldmanrahul about this edition. Thanks for reading and supporting my writing :)

1. I felt this was a very Eastern way of thinking. It lines up well with the Hindu/Buddhist concepts of letting go of desires in order to gain peace of mind. Well it turns out Pyrrho of Elis, the first Greek skeptic philosopher and founder of Pyrrhonism, traveled to India with Alexander the Great’s army. There he studied and was influenced by ascetic Buddhist monks. Imagine that :)